This one guy has stuck with me.

I was in Hong Kong in September 2026, coaching some clients. We were out in Central when I noticed a man in formal attire waiting to cross the street.

An average-looking guy. Nothing particularly striking about him. Around 5 feet 8, wearing specs.

A gorgeous, gorgeous girl stood beside him, waiting to cross too.

There was still some time before the signal would turn green.

He looked at her. He didn’t flinch or rush to look away. He seemed comfortable noticing her.

Then he simply said, “Hello.”

His hello was unapologetic, warm and genuine.

She responded instantly with a smile. “Hi.”

“How was your day so far?” he asked.

Simple. He seemed to trust himself.

I could hear their conversation because they were standing close to us. My clients were wondering where my attention was until I pointed out the interaction.

I am a coach, but I still carry the curiosity of a student.

The signal turned green, and they started walking together.

She told him about her hectic day, some shopping and lots of walking. Then she asked about his.

“It’s getting better with time,” he replied, with a mild smile.

He paused, then continued, “Well, it was work as usual. I work in finance here in Hong Kong.”

She asked whether he had moved there a long time ago. He explained that he had been born and raised there.

What stood out was how present he seemed.

He was listening. His replies connected with what she was saying. He wasn’t rushing to fill every pause or trying to make every sentence clever.

Then he said something that seemed to shift the energy between them.

“May I get to know you more? I was headed home with nothing much to do, but it would be nice if we could spend some time somewhere nice around here.”

He sounded genuine. It seemed spontaneous.

She readily agreed, and they went into a small café.

My clients and I ended up in the same café. I could hear parts of their conversation and observe their body language.

The conversation was personal and light. He was comfortable making fun of himself sometimes. He was soft-spoken and seemed genuinely curious about what she had to say.

His attention stayed with her.

The difference in their looks had initially caught my attention. But his behaviour was what kept it.

To me, his ability to stay with her absoulutely was a large part of what made him attractive in that interaction.

The ability to stay present with a woman matters from the moment you first approach her to a conversation with someone you’ve met through a matchmaker.

You can set yourself a goal to become more present with the woman in front of you. Stay with her.

(Stay with her means that major part of your being which includes your attention, your senses are reserved for her. And that happens only when you are not thinking two or more steps ahead, not self-evaluating, and you are interested in the woman).

Even before you open, just soak the woman in for a moment. Open with something very simple.

Listen to what she is actually saying. Notice her expression, her tone, and how she responds to you.

Allow yourself to be interested. Give yourself a moment to respond.

You may still feel nervous. You may catch yourself wondering what to say next or whether she likes you. You may not able to process all of it.

When that happens, bring your attention back to her. I know it’s hard. Your mind will wander two to three steps ahead, or it will self-evaluate.

Beyond this you can include some exercises to become more present. I have documented them in my free guide – The Aware Man

Caveat: Nightclubs are not a good environment to put this into practice.

About Pratik J