Speaking with Your Eyes

Eye contact is a huge topic in the realm of male-female dynamics. The chatter around eye contact is not new, but it never fades. Eyes have a huge role to play in the landscape of courting, dating, and relationships, irrespective of different stages.

However, there is a widespread misconception around this game of eyes which is that looking and holding eyes with the other is all we need to do.

No, there is a lot more to this art of speaking with eyes.

Before we move further, let me add that there is another element of eyes which is reading the eyes of a woman. But solely for this post, we will solely focus on speaking with eyes.

Let me take you back to the above clip.

Daniel Craig (aka James Bond) is not just looking at the woman; there is an intensity and flavour in the way he looks at her. And that way elevates his words.

That’s the key of eyes — and the game of eye contact.

Are you speaking something with your eyes? Do your eyes communicate at all?

Because just looking does not communicate anything other than the fact that you are confused.

Let me add a small caveat: subconsciously, a woman is not reading only the eyes,  she captures the whole face along with the eyes. And when we speak with eyes, our face also plays a role.

I am very good at speaking with eyes.

So how does one speak with eyes effectively?

I have observed with my clients that the major roadblock to getting this art right is their mind first, and second, their intellect. How so?

To get good at speaking with eyes, one has to first be free of defensive and apologetic thoughts.

You can’t speak with your eyes if you have multiple defensive and apologetic thoughts running in the background.

Your look will get diluted. Your eyes will lack flavour and intensity.

So become free of any defensive thoughts.

Second, and this is more important — you need to have an intensity within you in the form of a feeling or an emotion.

This is a bit abstract for men who understand only the intellectual dimension of life.

If you re-watch the above clip, you will notice a strong look in his eyes. The look conveys an intensity, a strong sense of desire for her and a self-assuredness.

It is very important that one has some sort of strong feeling or emotion within them for it to be reflected in the eyes. It can be a feeling of sexual mischief, delight, pause (mildly shocked or taken aback), or arousal.

This requires you to tap into the “feeling” dimension of yourself.

I’ll tell you a secret: A woman cannot resist a true feeling of a man. If she can see you are truly delighted in her presence, she will melt. If she can see you are truly aroused by her, she will be turned on. If she can see the true impact of hers on you, she will be intrigued by you.

Speaking with eyes is also a great tool to communicate your sexual intent. Sometimes you are in a situation where you cannot be explicit about it either by words or touch. Eyes can be a good alternative to communicate with her.

Yes, I am aware of your “creepy” argument.

I will be the first to say it is tricky, because sexual intent is a strong and dark energy so overstepping can cause some discomfort. It has to be modulated according to the context and the vibe between you two.

A feeling of delight is the safest communication with eyes. So practice that to begin with.

In conclusion, speaking with your eyes is soul work.