Proximity base approach and Cold calling approaching

This is in continuation of my previous post  (breaking the myth of approaching woman).

As I promise at the end of my previous post, I will go into merits and demerits of two modes of approaching women.

  1. Proximity based approach
  2. Cold calling approaching

Proximity based approach is my personal common way to meet women. It also happens to be major part of my coaching programme. In fact most men and women, especially in India mating starts with proximity. Either they are in same college, work, school, gym or something that has a common thread between them like common friends.

What I have done is taken the same psychological phenomenon and applied in random environments like cafe, bookstores, bars, mall food courts or any where I am.

So, what I do is put myself next to women in reasonable environments.

Not by coercion or force.

Putting oneself next to a woman, be it in cafes or any social environment without seeming imposing is an art by itself. Which cannot be explained in words.

Once I put myself next to a woman, keeping my social awareness meter on, I leave upto the moment to give me a strong reason to open my mouth and say something to the woman in my proximity.

There are many factors taken into consideration before I open my mouth.

Once I say something, I prefer to leave it that, but in some cases I continue engaging based on how she respond.

I avoid taking phone numbers on the first interaction, no matter how long was spoke.

It’s because, once you will have a socializing lifestyle, you will bump into the same women again.

And bumping into her second time, is where things will blossom into some thing tangible and concrete.

This is how it actually works with me.

The good part of proximity based approach is that, a person does not have to compromise his work. He can go to a cafe and still do his pending work or read a book and in the process meet women.

In fact I am in a cafe at the moment and still doing what I need to do.

Plus, a person develops social intelligence as he has to process so many social cues while learning this art.

Cold Calling base approach is the most commonly preach method. Pick up artist industry has promoted and marketed this way of approaching all over the world.

Cold approaching as it is widely known as, is about guys walking up to a woman (preferably on streets and malls) and starting conversation with them.

Personally I have done it in India and let me tell you, it’s not an effective way to meet women.

Cold approaching ignore the other part of the equation, which is the woman. It’s only about approacher and no consideration is given to approachee (woman).

It’s a number game to the hilt.

A man, especially in India, loses a lot and gain little by being an active cold approacher.

Cold approaching is not practical in long term, as we all have a life.

Plus you are losing social capital by leaving trail of annoyed women behind you, who you will bump again somewhere on the street.

Yes, it does have more volume of women to approach compare to my prefer way of approaching which is proximity based approach.

Let me limit myself to India, proximity based approach is practically feasible, sustainable in long term, and more effective compare to traditional cold approaching on street.

1 thought on “Proximity base approach and Cold calling approaching”

  1. Losing social capital by leaving trail of annoyed women behind you!!!

    But this is something which can happen in proximity based approach as well.

    I don’t think losing social capital has much to do with the environment!

    I reckon it’s more with the vibe you are projecting in addition to knowing when to leave the conversation and when to carry forward with the conversation; be it cold approach or proximity based approach.

    Moreover Annoyance in human being is an abstract phenomenon which also depends on time as well. Human Beings are strange creatures as well.
    As you mentioned in most of your post, some women will like you and some won’t.


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