This is first time, I am writing something about Sex. Having lot of time in hand to reflect, contemplate and think, I took myself back to those days, where inspite of being welcomed by girls, I hesitated to make a move.
And one thing, that strongly came out of this contemplation, is my view with regard to physical intimacy was distorted and had a self defeating perspective.
For years, physical intimacy for me, meant only a selfish pleasure seeking mechanism. And in moments of love, I shied away from it, believing physical intimacy is a gift a woman gives to a man who has proven his love.
I don’t know where this all came from, but for years, making a move was like riding a bicycle with brakes on. Naturally, some of these girls, at receiving end of my unexamined perspectives, distance from me gradually.
I knew I had to change this perspective about sex for my betterment.
It was this one question I asked myself, “What does sex/physical intimacy represent to me?”
With weeks of delibration in my head, reading about sex, watching some videos on the subject, I came to a conclusion that remained with me ever since.
Sex is an expression in physical form. Period.
Expression of what, you may ask.
That is different for every individual at given point of time.
For instance you may be drawn to a girl, because she seems beautiful to you. All other girls, in that moment you don’t even notice. It is this one girl across the bar or anywhere, just draws you in.
And you keep looking at her, communicating with your eyes, that you see her as an exceptional beauty. And you also get an opportunity to express that to her verbally.
Now you feel like touching her, getting physically intimate. Something holds you back. Whatever it may be.
It is at that moment you must understand, touching her is a higher medium to express, that you find her beautiful. Which, by the way you have already express through your eyes and words.
And there is no discrepancies between the way you look at her, what you say to her and touching her. They all mean the same , just the medium of expression is different.
And even for that woman, getting physically intimate is reassuring of your sincerity, about how you see her.
Physical Intimacy in that moment, is in the service of both you and her.
This remarkable change in perspective, will remove the weight of your shoulders regarding sex in real time.