The act of cold approaching women became popular and widely practiced worldwide, after the book “Game” was out in mass public.
(Cold approaching is a term used to define an action of a man physically approaching a woman with intentions of mating).
Not only it made sense to most men in technical terms, it gained a symbolic meaning of courage (having balls).
Especially for men, who were devoid of social circle or any other avenue to meet women, it’s appeal gained a significant interest. Cold approaching was not just a school of thought, but a school in itself.
Men, who paid dues by cold approaching women, lead the charge for other men, forming their own brotherhood. It was like a rite of passage, like a initiation ritual for boys to become men. And it was well meaning and sincere in all respects
The most appealing part of cold approaching was and still is, the visible and tangible activeness of it. The act of doing something, generally gives repose to masculine spirits. Especially it’s importance was mostly realised among engineers and likewise community. Primarily because, cold approaching in physical form, has a sense of input.
In addition to that, the most common advise that have percolated by women too, is, that a man should initiate the courtship.
Putting all this together, a man walking upto to a uninvited woman (namely cold approaching) is preached and practiced worldwide.
However, in general, what I realised, that women don’t like their space to be invaded. And cold approaching in traditional sense does exactly the work of invading a woman’s space.
Now as most guys play the numbers game, some women (exceptionally rare) will appreciate that. Which to most guys solidify, the way of cold approach.
In addition to that, cold approaching by most guys in done in fleeting moments, where probability of encountering the same girl again in social environments is extremely rare; which by the way, allows guys to escape a real time feedback from girls themselves in form of how they respond to the guy presence on re-encountering him.
Am I suggesting to not approach girls?
Silent spectator will always go unnoticed.
What I am suggesting rather a more direct (Yes) and non invasive cold approach. An approach that was always the natural design of mating game, as a first step.
A smile and a silent hi at a girl.
Sound simple, feels passive, seems light weight.
But to a woman, it’s direct, mischievous, respectful and a man to woman conspiracy. It makes sense to them, because to them a man (in form of her opposite sex) has showed up.
A smile and a silent hi to a girl across the room, communicates to her that you see her as your opposite sex, yet you are not invading her space or possibly put her in the spot by physically walk up to her in front of the room.
Most men don’t realized, this form of approach, is more direct and to the point. Hence guys finds it difficult to do this, compare to cold approaching.
Should a man smile at every girl in the room?
How much to smile, when to smile, who to smile at, etc?
Well, there is an element of art to it, like most things. However, here I’m limiting myself to scratching the surface.
Another question comes up, as an afterthought; Once a man smiles at a girl across the room, then What?
Once you become a man, who is smiling at girls because you are a guy, and not because you want to *target* a particular girl, then you end up getting invitations to take matters forward. In some of these matters, a man must cold approach.
Yes, it is essential for a man on this journey, also develop skills to read women and their signals. In essence to develop a feel of women.
The difficult part is the initial phases of doing this. The difficult part it’s abstractism, directness of approach, and absent of immediate tangible progress scale.
If guys take this approach as similar to planting a seed in the ground, watering everyday, taking a leap of faith, that it is growing underneath and one day it will be visible to us, then it will be much easier to practice.