What Men Must Know, If They Want To Meet New Women.
For a man, any place is a possibility to meet women. A street, a mall, a traffic signal, a waiting area. A cute girl is always a chance. How it looks socially, or what his friends will say, rarely matters to him.
For a woman, it works differently. She doesn’t think in channels. She thinks in context.
What’s the difference?
A channel is just a place where men and women happen to be together. A context has a backdrop. A story. Something that is socially accepted in her world. Something she can tell her friends. Something she can tell herself.
There is one question that decides everything: “How did you meet?”
Every woman who starts seeing someone gets asked this by her friends. Context is whatever makes that answer easy to give. “We kept running into each other at this café” is easy to say. “He walked up to me at a traffic signal” is not. Even if both interactions were equally good. She is thinking about this while the interaction is happening. Men don’t have this. Nobody asks a man to explain how he met a woman.
Speaking for India — when dating apps rolled out, girls would not admit even to their best friends that they were on them. It was hush hush. A few years later, the apps had not changed. What people said about them had changed. Everyone was on apps now, so responding to a man there cost her nothing. Dating apps became a context.
This is the real thing underneath all of it:
Channels are about access. Context is about permission.
A man asks: can I reach her?
A woman asks: am I allowed to respond? Allowed by her friends, her family, her own image of herself.
A channel without context means she can see you, but she has no permission to act on it. This is why the same approach works in one place and fails in another.
Context also decides who takes the judgment. If a woman responds to a man outside an established context, she takes it. “She entertained some random guy.” If context exists, the situation takes it. “It just happened, we were both there.” Context protects her.
And context is very nuanced. It can be built.
A café becomes a context after she has seen you there the third time. Why the third time? Because now there is a timeline. “The guy I keep seeing” already has a backstory before a single word is spoken. This is also why cold approach is the hardest game there is. There is no backstory. Most men try to fix this with a better opening strategy, and more and more approaches, and neither helps.
Contexts also change with culture and time. Timeleft dinners have become a context in many cities in the last couple of years. Every context follows the same curve. First hush hush, then normal, then crowded. The men who arrive after it is crowded become one of many. The observant man notices a context while it is still forming in his city, and he is there before the crowd.
Now, the part most men miss completely.
Some men create context in the most unlikely places. Not with lines. With the way they look at her. A non-verbal approach. What is actually happening is that a moment gets created, and both people register it. “There was this moment between us.” That moment itself becomes the context. She now has something to tell her friends, and herself.
(More on this in my upcoming guide – How to meet women using eyes)
So understand this. You are running from one pillar to another, thinking that the flow of women is good enough. But if it lacks context, then it’s no good.
Start thinking along the lines of context, you will find yourself becoming smarter and getting better results.
Meanwhile, get a hand on my guides for free.
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