The one skill that transcends cultural boundaries, demographics, socio-economic hiearchies, and physical features to create attraction and curiosity in women- be it in the first few moments, on a date, or even, to a certain extent, in a relationship- is speaking with your eyes. The following post will explain the art and science of this skill.

A few years ago, I accidentally discovered, in real time, a way to express myself to a woman. I also learnt that this can be a way more effective form of communication at times.

I am talking about the skill of Speaking with Eyes.

Have you ever heard a woman, in real life or in a movie, say, “It’s the way he looked at me” or “I could see it in his eyes”?

Well, that’s speaking with your eyes.

Well, the good part about this skill is that you can use it in the first few seconds of seeing a woman, in a conversation, on a date, and, to a certain extent, in a relationship.

Is it a substitute for walking up to a girl—aka a cold approach—and speaking with words?

No. At some point, you will have to speak with words.

But it can be a powerful addition to a verbal cold approach.

Is it a substitute for being direct with words or escalating physically on dates?

No. If you share a vibe with a girl on a date, you have to use words and the right touches too.

But it warms up the girl, allowing you the space to escalate if need be. Additionally, it adds a sense of trust and safety to your words and touches because your non-verbal expression is aligned with them.

So how does speaking with eyes work?

Well, time and time again, we have seen actors in movies conveying a range of emotions through their eyes. We have seen it in opera, theatre, and even some forms of dance, especially Indian classical dance.

So, it’s not an alien concept to us.

But when it comes to male-female or same-sex polarity dynamics, speaking with your eyes is complex and nuanced.

Additionally, it can be abstract and difficult to grasp initially.

Well, speaking with your eyes has one key ingredient that makes it powerful and helps it land effectively with others: emotion.

Emotion is what makes eyes the eighth wonder of the world. The importance of eye contact is never lost on us, yet we don’t know why that is so.

Well, that’s because eyes have the ability to reveal what’s within us. And that carries more of a trust factor than words.

Speaking with your eyes means having the ability to send a message through your eyes. It can be without words or with words.

The message can be – “I am delighted by you”, “I am enjoying your company”, “I am interested in you”, “I am interested in what you have to say”.

In essence, there has to be a built-in emotion. If there is no emotion, then you are merely looking at the woman. If done excessively, it turns into staring.

If speaking with your eyes is so powerful and effective, then why don’t men pay enough attention to it?

There are two reasons for this:

1. Most men are not even aware of it. They only know and understand verbal communication.
2. It is tough to develop this skill. It requires qualitative inner work in real time, such as staying connected with yourself, processing multiple things at the same time, not overthinking in real time, being open to receiving people without mental chatter, and not thinking two or more steps ahead.

Let me reiterate: speaking with your eyes simply means sending a message to a woman.

How does this skill happen to be the most powerful attraction skill for men?

Women tune into a non-verbal frequency a lot more than men. They listen to and trust a non-verbal mode of communication more.

For instance, if a man lingers for a brief time around a woman he wants to approach, she feels scared and creeped out because lingering communicates a lack of self-trust.

Science also proves it

Cambridge study of over 300,000 people across 57 countries found women, on average, read emotion from the eyes better than men. In no country did men come out ahead.

Coming to the argument about the most powerful attraction skill, here is my theory, based on my experiences. Women cannot overlook a man’s true and unapologetic interest. They are instinctively drawn to it.

And women tend to trust that interest and gravitate towards it when it comes through the eyes.

This is what makes this skill the most powerful attraction skill.

Most of my approaches have begun through my eyes. It’s the way I look at a woman that creates positive curiosity in her—not always, of course. There is a built-in emotion behind it. And that can happen only if I moderately FEEL something within me, either when I first see a woman or while spending time in her company.

That curiosity in her opens up an easy space for me to take things forward directly.

I know this will raise some questions in your mind, as it does with all my clients.

• What feeling am I talking about?
• How do I know if I feel something?
• But I am attracted to a lot of girls.
• What if I don’t feel anything? Should I not approach or talk to the girl?

Well, let me not go too deep into these questions, as they require a deeper back and forth conversation with me.

But to touch on them briefly – We can feel if someone makes us pause, feel delighted, turned on, mischievious, pleasant, etc. It can happen on just seeing someone, or while interacting with the person.

Even my clients are nervy about it in the beginning. They are unsure if this will work or not.

But thankfully, 99 percent of them get it. Some take time, while some gets it sooner.

In my view, having the ability to speak with eyes opens up the world for men to meet and mate with a woman or women. It gives them a sense of control over the quality of their outcomes in their dating, romance, sex and companionship.

I have written an extensive guide specifically on how to meet women using eyes. You can download it for free from the link below:

Guide Link

I am also adding some movie clips just for visual reference. Both clips are about sending messages. Shame is about sending an explicit message about the arousing impact she had on him. Last Night is about sending an implicit message of delight in being in her company.

1. Shame (2011)

      2. Last Night