Every man carries an internal voice. For most, this voice is not uplifting–it’s self-defeating, limiting, and discouraging.
It tells you that you’re not good enough, not attractive enough, or that you might come across as a creep.
It convinces you that you’ll be rejected, dismissed, or judged–so you hold back, retreat, or second-guess yourself.
This voice is not born out of nowhere.
It is shaped by years of conditioning–your past experiences, cultural norms, upbringing, social environment, media influence, and limited real-world exposure.
Now, to be fair, not all parts of this voice are false. Some of its restraint might be rooted in reason and help prevent reckless behavior.
But as Pratik has observed, for most men, the overwhelming weight of this voice is self-sabotaging.
And that weight becomes a major barrier.
It stunts your growth.
It disconnects you from truth.
It blocks your ability to meet women, build connections, explore your own sexuality, or even understand who you really are.
So, how do you turn that inner critic into an inner coach?
Through self-talk.
Self-talk is a conscious and deliberate effort to elevate your mindset. It is a powerful tool that interrupts the autopilot of your inner voice and helps rewire it.
Take Cristiano Ronaldo, for example. There’s a famous clip where he’s about to take a free kick–and right before, you can see him speaking to himself. That’s self-talk in action. It’s a way to steady your mind and sharpen your focus when doubt creeps in.
When it comes to dating, this is especially relevant.
You’ll constantly run into situations where your internal voice will resist–when you’re about to approach a woman, escalate, or take initiative.
This is where self-talk becomes your weapon of choice.
Pratik has consistently seen his clients fall victim to their own inner voices. But with regular and intentional self-talk, they begin to break through.
And then something interesting happens…
As they push forward with the help of self-talk, they begin to receive positive signals from women.
Bit by bit, the self-defeating voice starts to lose its grip.
The old voice–“She will shoo you away”–gets replaced with “She might actually like you.”
Over time, their default voice becomes more encouraging, more grounded, and more aligned with reality.
At that point, the role of self-talk reduces because your natural voice becomes strong enough to support you.
But until that happens–until your inner voice becomes your ally–you must rely on intentional, empowering self-talk to navigate the internal resistance.
Now, lets come to art of self-talk and different styles of self-talk.
1. Motivating or Positive Self-Talk.
As the name suggests, this style involves encouragement, affirmations, and recalling past wins. It’s commonly used and works well to uplift your state.
Let us go through some examples:
Example No 1.
Before approaching a woman:
Self Talk No 1
“You’ve handled nervousness before–and it went well. You’ve got this.”
Example No 2
While feeling nervous mid-conversation:
Self Talk No 2
“Stay focused. Be present. You always enjoy the moment once you’re in it. These negative thoughts will pass.”
Example No 3
When you’re about to escalate:
Self Talk No 3
“This is a beautiful gift to offer. She deserves it–and so do you.”
2. Harsh or Scolding Self-Talk.
This is Pratik’s personal go-to. In this approach, you push yourself with tough love–like a no-nonsense coach. It may include slang or profanity, though it’s not essential. Whether this works for you is something you’ll only discover through experience.
Let us go through some examples:
Example No 1
Before approaching:
Self Talk No 1
“You idiot–did you misplace your balls? Go approach her.”
Example No 2
When nervous during a conversation:
Self Talk No 2
“If talking to a woman rattles you this much, you should be ashamed to call yourself a man.”
Example No 3
When hesitating to escalate:
Self Talk No 3
“Where’s your manhood gone? You desire her–own it and act on it.”
3. Negative or Fear-Based Self-Talk
This form of self-talk uses fear or ego-based pressure to push yourself into action. It’s often intense and confrontational, designed to jolt you out of inaction by highlighting the emotional consequences of not acting.
Let us go through some Examples:
Example No 1
Before Approaching:
Self Talk No 1
“If you don’t act now, this pattern will repeat–and you’ll never break free from it.”
Example No 2
During a Nervous Conversation:
Self Talk No 2
“Your nervousness is starting to take over the vibe. Don’t screw this up–come back to the present moment.”
Example No 3
When Hesitating to Escalate:
Self Talk No 3
“If you don’t make a move, you won’t be able to face yourself. You’ll walk away ashamed.”
4. Growth and Discovery-Oriented Self-Talk
This type of self-talk resonates with those who embrace a growth mindset. It encourages exploration, experimentation, and evolving through experience. Even if growth isn’t your natural mode, this mindset can still be cultivated with conscious repetition.
Let us go through some Examples:
Example No 1.
Before Approaching:
Self Talk No 1
“You have no idea how she might respond–why not find out for yourself?”
Example No 2
During a Nervous Conversation:
Self Talk No 2
“Keep going. No matter what happens, this will help you grow.”
Example No 3
When Hesitating to Escalate:
Self Talk No 3
“Taking this step could dissolve a limiting belief that’s been holding you back.”
5. Inspirational Self-Talk
Inspirational self-talk involves drawing strength from people you admire–especially those who’ve overcome anxiety, fear, or adversity. Listening to their stories repeatedly imprints them into your memory, allowing you to recall their courage in your own moments of doubt.
Examples of Inspiring Sources:
Oprah Winfrey’s Harvard commencement speech
Steve Jobs’ address at Stanford University
Kumar Mangalam Birla sharing how even Ratan Tata once felt deeply nervous before a speech
By internalizing such stories, you can summon their energy and resilience when facing your own challenges.
Conclusion:
Self-talk, when used consciously, becomes a powerful internal tool for emotional regulation, decision-making, and self-leadership–especially in high-stakes moments like approaching, connecting, or escalating with a woman. By choosing the style of self-talk that resonates withou–whether it’s motivating, harsh, growth-oriented, fear-based, oriring–you empower yourself to act in alignment with your higher intent rather than being hijacked by unconscious fears. Remember, the quality of your self-talk often determines the quality of your actions.
Disclaimer:
All content published in this blog (except a video clip of Cristiano Ronaldo) is the intellectual property of Way of Men and is intended exclusively for our clients. Unauthorized use, reproduction and distribution without due credit of any material without explicit permission is strictly prohibited.
Thank You.
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