As I finished watching this movie, I took a deep breath, to process the plot of the movie.
Even though, I knew about it from both personal experiences and hearing from popular dating coach Alan Roger Currie, seeing it visually enacted crisply to the point, I was amazed.
I am referring to this French movie “The obscure object of desire” released in 1977.
As plot goes, there is an old wealthy man, the main protagonist who falls for a young pretty Chamberlaid. All along the movie, this lady, showers him with affection, kisses, allows him to fondle her but withhold sexual intercourse.
However, this old wealthy man, provides financial assistance to her and her mother, with the assumption that he will get consummate with her unconditionally at some point.
The smart thing the lady does is not completely withholding physical intimacy with him. Instead she let’s him sleep naked with her, makes out with him, gives him a taste of her breast.
This partial allowance, is what keeps this old man arouse and hopeful of final climax, which translates, into providing continuum financial assistance to the young lady.
Until she gets a house in her name and that’s when she fucks another guy (her original lover) in front of him to kick him out.
It’s not uncommon for a woman, to play this game.
The name of the game is, “The possibility of sex”.
(Mr. Alan Roger Currie has written a book on it).
And lot of men are victim to it, and it’s because men play themselves into it. It’s the blindness of men that is to be blame, in my view.
(In fact in the movie, the lady is played by two different women, to drive the point, that how blinded the old man was).
The possibility of sex means, making a man feel and believe that sexual intercourse is an eventuality, if he just keep providing what a woman wants.
And mind you, financial assistance is not necessarily part of the menu. In fact a woman may spend more money than the guy, and still play this game in barter of social contacts, special invites, companionship, etc.
In today’s times, I have come across a more refine version, where a woman in question initially spends money to give an impression that she is not after money and later on takes a bigger slice of the pie.
Why women do that?
Well like some men, there are women who are manipulative, deceptive and vile. And sex happens to be a natural and powerful tool to control some men in exchange of what they want.
With the advent of online dating apps, it has become more prevalent and more difficult for guys to see from far this deceptive behaviour.
As I said earlier, it’s not necessary the financial assistance what girls are looking for, as barter. A girl may play this game with a particular guy, so that he can do her project work, or to create a social network.
(A common theme), in younger age group, some girls resort to this deceit to have a company of a guy at her command.
A more blunt reason why women do that is because it works.
How does a man avoid this trap? What are the tell tale signs?
A woman will always draw a line to how far you can touch her, but pay attention to way she draws the line and the timing.
Just before a girl is expecting something from a guy, she will stop a guy overtures in extremely sweet and polite manner with a seemingly strong excuse. On the hand, after she gets what she wants, her tone will be accusatory and defaming while restricting the guy.
A woman who is suave in playing this game, will always allow partial overtures. In fact she may even initiate at times the physical intimacy. But will always close the entry to sex.
Passive aggressive behaviour is another tell tale sign to look for. It’s an age old technique to play on someone’s mind.
A constant reminder of their innocence, naive and helplessness to navigate life or an aspect of life, is something a man must pay attention to.
Women who insist on playing this game as a survival mechanism, usually loathe men who have a clarity of thought, because they are least suspectible.
How does a man avoid to step on this land mine altogether?
Having strong principles on how far you are willing to stick around and having personal guidelines on what you are willing to offer in process of forming a sexual equation.
I encourage you to comment anything that can be added to this post, as this subject affects lot of guys life.
1 thought on “Dark sides of women..”
That’s a strong sentence you had mentioned, “Having strong principles on how far you are willing to stick around and having personal guidelines on what you are willing to offer in process of forming a sexual equation.”
And this is where the wrong concep of investing all your trade in one boat comes into play.
If we reflect on that story, the exchange of sex came more of a trade rather than a form of expression from the man’s perspective.
Of course, the woman here had been manipulative but again we just can’t blame the
whole context of misfortune upon her. It’s like expecting the world to play a fair game with you just because you had been fair enough with them.
Also appearances are deceptive. It might seem that the guy was treated unfairly; but it might be that some wrong plot had been set by the guy subconsciously from the very beginning, in hindsight.
As far as being vile is concerned; then it doesn’t restrict to gender but people in general.
Besides accepting the frame “We are not enough” by the societal conditioning is what as men leads to such kind of uncanny behavior.
I reckon the change in perspective can come when we changes the mindset of “uplifting only myself” to “uplifting myself along with the society we are in connection with. “