What’s the usual way guys approach and mingle with girls in initial moments?
Of course, each individual has his own style, but barring 1 percent all other guys use hoops. Hoops are close to unnecessary conversational frames. In essence hoops are used as a social lubricant to avoid overwhelming-ness of direct point.
For example a classic hoop in a bar was “What are you drinking?”. However the direct point was along the lines of “I am interested in you”.
The qualitative nature of hoops have certainly changed, but the essence still remains the same.
The use of hoops is not limited to courtship and mating, it extends in relationships too.
As a Dating Coach for men, I get constantly asked to teach a smoother, more outcome oriented hoops. Offcourse, none of the guys have used words similar to mine, but in a way they demand and expect similar from me.
However, my coaching ignores that and encourages/trains them for Plain Speaking Method.
What is Plain Speaking Method?
Simply Speaking, it is framing and putting out words which are in alignment with your desire and inner expression.Please do not mistaken Plain Speaking with blunt truth or radical honesty.
For example, you are in a restaurant enjoying a meal with your friends and amidst the beautiful crowd, you Spot a woman who invites your complete attention. And you consciously decide to let that play out with your eyes. Then a moment arrives which gives you the space to talk with her. And first few words that comes out of your mouth are “Hi, you invited my attention so I got curious about you”. Simply stating what it is.
Now as simple it may sound, plain speaking method is the toughest way to speak, especially in male – female dynamics. It’s toughest because most of us have not earned it to speak it.
Yes. Plain Speaking Method has to be earned. You may challenge me that you can plain speak to whichever girl I point to. But plain speaking has its merits only if it matches with your reality.
If in your reality, you and a particular woman should waste no time to mate, then inviting her to an intimate space in plain words may augur much well for you than not.
As a coach, I refrain from pushing a guy to use plain speaking method until I work on reframing their reality in real time. Some mild plain speaking happens in early part of the course though.
Plain Speaking Method is Sophisticated, Elevated and Conscious than any other method One can suggests.
(Additions: Usually a woman tends to pull back on receiving a plain speaking style, because she needs some space to process it. But few minutes or hours or even days later, the same woman will find a way to close the gap between her and him. Not always though).