Two A’s…(Attraction – Arousal)

This Post is primarily written for Heterosexual Men:

Men often wonder how to attract a particular woman . But hardly any guy raises a question on how to arouse a particular woman or what in general arouses a woman.

And this is simply because most men are not aware of the distinction between the two.

Attraction is a function of Mind. Mind is a conditioned phenomenon. Attraction happens in Mind and it is different for each individual depending on what he/she values higher. Some aspects of life attracts most people. For example a wealthy person is generally attractive.

Coming to women and attraction, not taking away the fact that it is complex, women are attracted to different aspects of a man at different times.(Different times being various phases of her life). But there are some aspects of a man that most women are universally attracted to. One of them is Fame, especially a celebrity fame. Hence a famous athlete, actor, artist, etc is attractive to most women.

Most men want to play this game and they know only this. They want to attract a woman by appealing to her Mind. And based on their own learnings, narratives, beliefs on what attracts a woman, men move forward. And maybe through trial and error they find a sweet spot until it lasts.

Fair Enough!

However, there is another dimension that sticks out to me and few of us men. This dimension appeals to her female instinct, primal nature. This results into Arousal. What is the difference between Arosual and Attraction?

Arousal is signaled within her body through her internal mechanisms. I am not a woman, so it will seem arrogant of me to detail the mechanisms within her body in state or moment of Arousal.

Arousal is a function of ‘that is beyond the mind’, not necessarily superior. It’s speaks through our Animalistic nature. It can’t be understood, it can only be made aware and experienced.

What arouses a woman in a given particular moment can be unexplainable, mysterious and beyond the scope of intellect. In general however, we can attribute arousal to certain aspects of a Man’s nature, which includes his masculine, decisive, leadership, unapologetic expressive qualities to name a few.

Another word for Arousal in polite measure is turning on. Yes, there can be an overlap between Attraction and Arousal.

I have not done a scientific study on Arousal, but from my limited experiences, I can give some nuggets about this mechanism.

A heterosexual masculine man carries an Animalistic instinctive nature within him that has evolved over million of years, way before intellect came into being. This instinctive element has its own voice and designed. It knows the language of survival, protection and mating (reproduction). It does not understand aspects of life which are intellectually constructed like hierarchies, fame, capitalism, etc.

Similarly a heterosexual feminine woman carries her own instinctive nature.

This instinctive nature has the ability to speak to each other on different frequency.

When a man displays his masculine nature, allows his Animalistic desire an expression through his look, voice and touch, the passion in her own blood responds to his fierce passion for a female.

Sometimes arousal is facilitated by a woman’s biology, depending on her time of the month. Usually this phase is termed as woman is in heat. Again strictly speaking from my experiences, a woman in peak of her heat phase is naturally turned on just by mere presence of a Masculine Man. She can feel it or rather her body can sense the presence of him.

Let’s talk about real time situations.

If a Man’s instinct can connect with a particular woman’s instinct by the way he looks at her leading to arouse her; his manner of speaking can also wane off the arousal he facilitated within her. I mean a man’s entire mechanism from the way he looks at a woman, to the way he talks and what he talks, his smile, touch and the way he leads should be in the same wavelength for the Arosual to sustain.

An intense look at a woman, should not be diluted with sweet and polite introduction of himself to her.

The real time world is lot more complex now with myriads of Social Constructs. Hence to lead a woman in moment of Arousal to bed can be lot more trickier than you can imagine and sometimes impossible.

It’s a topic by itself, so I leave it at that.

Some Dance moves of a man in real time can arouse a woman, especially dance moves that involves hips. I will tell you a story a female friend of mine told me that relates to this aspect and end the post.

My friend was in a light hearted bar in Mumbai, enjoying with her other female friends. As night started to warm up, people started to shake their legs. Amidst all these people one guy in particular, danced in such a way that it aroused my female friend. She mustered up some courage and joined him to dance. Now they both are in tune with each other. Her Arousal was getting stronger, she was getting more and more moist down there. She knew that this should end in bed. As night started to wind down she started to speak with him, to get a sense of his situation. As she was speaking, and asking, she was hoping that he would not end up saying something stupid that would spoil the mood and hence she was trying her best to take the maximum verbal space. However the guy went into overcompensating mode and started to speak unnecessary things, resulting into a huge disappointment for her.

Be a Arousing Man over being Attractive to Women..

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