- Trying to impress women.
Sometimes I feel we men are made to believe since our teenage years that we men have to proactively impress women. This is far from truth and it backfires. The reality is, women find those men attractive who are comfortable with who they are and yet stand out. However, unconsciously anything men does or say to a woman he likes has a flavour of “trying to impress”.
2. Projecting men way onto women.
Men and women are two different genders. There are lot of similarities, but differences between two genders create attraction. Men have certain thought process about certain situations while women have different thought process to similar situations. However men assume women would process certain dynamics, the same way a man would. But that’s not true. And that’s where fallacy lies.
The most common is men giving/fixing a woman’s issue when she just want to be understood and not be told, what to do.
However in a man’s world an issue is narrated only to seek solution.
3. Acting “cool”
This is common among guys who has little social life with women. These guys had some experiences with women and are not exactly devoid of women. But, the intimacy or the so called “adoration” by women is still elusive to them. Acting cool in essence is a defense mechanism for them. It is difficult to explain in words what really acting cool means as it is abstract and varies according to individual situations.
For example a girl ask a guy, why is he not dating anyone. To which the guy who acts cool will say, “There aren’t any high quality women out there”.
Instead saying it simply, I haven’t connected to anyone yet.
4. Self Centric approach towards mating
This is so big and ingrained in men’s psyche. From approaching to courting and dating, Men rarely consider the other part of the equation, namely “women”. And because of this one sided approach, they fail to read cues from and of women. Hence most men fail even before they approach. I would blame the pick up artist community for this.
There are certainly many more and sometimes even I make one of those, however the above four are the main barriers men need to resolve to include women in their life.