This Incident took place almost 6 years back. At that time, I was mostly in my head trying to talk my way in with women. The concept of conversation was the only dimension I was aware of.
However until one fine afternoon, the narrative that ‘conversational skills is all that matters’ flipped on its head by the following Incident. A new dimension opened up.
I am in a conversation with two young and pretty girls, who I just met minutes ago in Starbucks, trying my best to impress them with words.
As I am talking, listening and engaging these girls, I see a woman seated opposite me getting up (while her man has gone to order), turning around looking at an older Arabic man, waiting for him to look up at her; and the moment he looks up at her, she winks and smiles at him, and the man in return smiles with a nod at her before he looks back to his book.
The woman continues smiling until she notices her man walking back to their table. As I am watching this, I observe the amazing talent of the woman recoiling to her original position with her man, erasing any hint of mischief she just indulged in.
This whole episode lasted for approximately 3 minutes. I am wondering what just happened.
I must point out, that the woman and the Arabic man were unknown to each other; and at no point I witnessed any exchange of glances between them. In fact the Arabic man was seated diagonally behind her.
This Incident opened a new dimension of male-female dynamic for me. There I was trying to talk my way in with girls seated next to me, and here I witnessed a man with his mere presence makes a particular woman gravitate towards him.
I bid adieu to two girls, who anyways lost interest in my attention, and went home reflecting on the incident that just transpired in front of my eyes.
That day I made a conscious choice to develop a new narrative that speaks with my presence.
This Incident created a new intellectual reality but it took a while to have an experiential reality of this new way of meeting women.
Now as a coach, I strive same elevation for other men.