There is always a sense of dread in our stomach, which is so palpable, just before we are embarking to Open a random girl, as a means to the conversation. We are constantly rehearsing in our head, the exact nature of the content, the framing of sentence and the tone of our voice, just so that our opener lands well.
In my view a good opener makes a big difference, especially when the window is small and tight. So our urge to put a perfect framework to our openers, seems perfectly valid.
Coming to the technical know how of an appropriate openers, I have unusual solution to it.
Always match the content and tone of the opener, to the energy of the moment (which includes the girl’s energy and her receptivity towards your presence).
Impractical advice, huh?
No, its not, if you extrapolate this into real time before you are about to Open.
For instance, you are standing at the bar, and there are two girls standing next to you, giggling and laughing among themselves, and facing each other, but at times they or either one of them, looks around; they are not only the right canditate to Open, but also someone with whom you can be direct and mischievous. An opener like, “You left your boyfriends at home today?” or “I remember you, I swipe you right on tinder” will fit the energy of the moment. Why?
Because the flow of the energy in above instance demanded a similar energetic intervention, so make it seamless with the flow of moment. If you opened on a different context, something like “hey what’s your name?” or “I hope you having fun” or “I think you are cute” would cut through their moment.
Talking to random girls is generally not a part of a social ecosystem (more on that in my September newsletter), so inviting a girl to join you in an impromptu mingling is asking her to take a big jump, especially when you are a complete stranger. Hence the socially savvy openers do matter.
I will end this post with a real life example; I was seated in a cafe, minding my business; a girl walks in and our eyes locked the moment she walks in. Her eyes had clear mischievous flavour, with an added smirk while we looked at each other. All this happen in seconds and we human beings are designed to process this.
Instantly, I said “What’s your number?”. That’s was my opener. It matched the energy of our moment. She walked past me , smiling and shaking her head.
If you are wondering what happened after that; Nothing. She was meeting someone there and I too left after 10 mins.