The biggest concern a man has when looking at a pretty girl is to not come off as creepy; far from being labelled as one.
Yet women in general are beings of beauty, a man naturally wants to see and look at them. It is a one of the most natural reflex of the man.
The fear to come off creepy and the desire to look at them fully, results into a deeper conflict within a man; to see them and not to see them at the same time.
But we all know, women longs to be seen. Check your instagram feed at random, you will surely come across few women posing and seeming pretty to the world at large. Go to a social event or any beautiful venue filled with women, the most common thing you will witness is women cobbled up to take pictures of each other for long periods of time.
As a matter of fact, history is colored with nude portraits of women and not of men. Do you think the iconic scene from the movie “Titanic” (where actor Leo is drawing a portrait of nude Kate Winslet) would have made such a imprint if the roles would have been reversed? Noooo.
I am going say something strong, “Women are objects of desire and in best sense”.
So, how do you appreciate (with your eyes) the fairer sex without coming off as a creep and in the process allow your masculine expression to play out fully?
The key is to change the narrative about the way you look at a pretty girl.
Look at her as though you’re an artist about to paint a beautiful portrait of her. Look at her intently for 5 to 7 seconds and take it all in; Start with the way her hair falls over her shoulders, then go to her face and capture the shape of her lips, eyes following which move to her body: glance the way her breast rest on her, the softness of her skin of her hand, the curves of her behind to the fullness of the calf. Then come back to her face and reflect back on her eyes.
During the process of using artist technique, there will be flow of tension within your body. The challenge is to stay with.
Then look away, close your eyes and see if you can picture her fully in your imagination.
When you start doing this enough number of times, four things will start to happen:
- The pressure to “start a conversation”, “Approach her”, “pick her up” , etc will be eliminated in the moment. You will get more into body and less hung up in your head.
- The intensity and depth of your gaze will enhance. Frequent glancing at women will be a thing of past.
- You will develop an intuitive sense of separating what you will find attractive and otherwise.
- And most importantly, women will invite you more in their space compare to other men, because they will feel seen by you.
A must see movie to get a beautiful grasp of this concept is Tulip Fever.
This post is co-written by me and Vishaal Reddy.