How to position one-self to meet girls?

If you want to master the game of meeting women offline then you must learn the art of positioning yourself to maximize your interactions with the women in the particular social venue.

As I evolved in my ways to meet women randomly, I noticed a natural shift in my positioning in any venue.

For instance few years back, as my game was geared meeting women primarily through conversation, I always used the proximity principle to meet women. The proximity principle basically means that you position yourself (in less than obvious way) next to a woman, so that getting into a conversation becomes a natural.

Speaking with a person sitting/standing next to us comes naturally to us. Plus there is some research that people are more willing to develop interpersonal relationships with people who are in their proximity. (Source: Wikipedia, Proximity Principle).

To be good at this kind of game, a man must hone his social awareness and social intelligence skills. His conversational skills including a sense of timing must also be par excellence.

Usually cafes, are the best venues to play along the proximity principle. Bar counter with good flow of women are also great.

For guys starting out to meet women randomly, without any professional help should opt for proximity based approach.

Coming to the positioning of proximity, there are few pointers one must bear in mind:

  • Pick a venue which does not have a spaced out seating arrangement.
  • Cafes should always have a good flow of women.
  • On weekends go to a non-work culture cafes and on a weekday go to cafes where they encourage people to work.
  • Don’t hesitate to sit next to a girl even if the venue has other empty spots.
  • Always move from one spot to another, but not more than thrice in the time you are there.
  • The best spot to start conversations with random people is on a community couch (sofa). A community couch is a spot where multiple different people can sit. Usually cafes like starbucks and third wave coffee roasters have a community couch.
  • Similarly in bars, picking a good spot is battle half won. For the purpose of proximity, standing by the bar counter is the safest bet. However picking the best side or corner of the bar is a tricky thing to decipher. Just avoid to stand where there are too many men already standing.

As this post is only about positioning, I don’t want to enter realm of starting conversations, timing, etc.

Now, as I stand currently, there has been a natural shift in the way I meet women. Unlike before, now I use sub-communication at least initially to meet women.

Sub-communication means the initial communication between a man and woman happens non-verbally, which is then taken forward verbally. Eyes are used as the channel to communicate.

It is altogether a different dimension than what the modern generation is accustomed to. As a matter of fact, sub-communication has always been the way of the courtship process.

The positioning that is requisite to sub-communication is different from proximity.

A man’s positioning must fulfill two requirements.

  • He must be sit/stand in such a way that he have the maximum view of the place and he must be visible to as many people as possible.
  • His spot should make it easier for women (if interested) to come in his space, so that she can invite him to approach her.

I am attaching a picture of a cafe to explain this further visually.

According to my theory the ideal spot to sit is on the chair, closer to the counter with your back to the wall. As this particular spot satisfies both the conditions. It gives the maximum view of the place and almost everyone can see you as this cafe is inside a departmental store where people walk in and out. As far as second condition goes; as you can see a small counter just behind the chair with water bottles, some sugar and tissues papers. If I sub-communicate my interest to a girl and she is also on the same page, then she can come by the counter just behind me under the pretext of taking a sugar or something and invite me (in her own ways) to start the courtship process, by inviting me to take the lead.

The below picture is the view from the chair I suggested to sit in the above picture.

I am presuming that readers will have some follow up questions, especially on developing sub-communication.

You can ask your questions on the comment section.

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