There is an old saying about Eyes: A human eyes have a unique capacity to look both inwards and outwards, One can close his eyes in meditation and look inwards, while with open eyes he can see outwards.
Of all the five senses, sight is the most important in courtship-mating-romance-relationships dynamics. Usually for both men and women, it is the eyes that are used to capture the initial essence of another person, which is then forwarded to mind and body. (And that applies to dating apps too).
The eyes can sub-communicate the entirety of the message; from the initial look across the room to deep gaze into beloved eyes to the animalistic look while getting intimate, eyes can say it all. Oh, by the way it can receive what is said with equal sharpness.
Strictly speaking from my experiences, a man’s sight have a unique gift to make a woman feel beautiful and desirable and in the process awaken the feminine wind inside a particular woman. The wind that overrides (most of the times) a woman’s conscious mind to invite that man to lead her. While women too have been bestowed in equal measure the unique ability to arouse, heal, comfort a man just with her sight.
We all recognized the magic and potency of eyes in our day to day social life, and hence we harped on the importance of eye contact in general world including on Dates. Yet somehow, our sight is unable to land on another person the way we desire.
And that’s because we lack the appropriate internal story while looking at another person; the authenticity, genuineness, audacity, unapologetic flavor is replaced by method, technique, social conditioning, hidden agendas. And this applies to both men and women.
(As we lay our sight on someone, at the same time there is a force of a internal narrative that is causing us to look at another person. For example, a man’s enjoyment and appreciation for a woman’s beauty can be a strong force in the form of his internal narrative while looking at a woman defining the weight of his sight).
I am not denying the importance and place of words in the larger male-female dynamics, but I do wonder why so much energy is wasted on figuring out the right ways of Conversation. Eyes with certain weight can communicate so much more than words and then words can be (and should be) a follow up to convey the integrity of the larger communication.
If men developed the weight in their sight then the impact they would have on the woman they desired would surprise them. And inevitably this will take all the pressure off in regard to conversational tactics.
Words are supposed to be used to amplify and lead the dance, not to create an atmosphere of chemistry and attraction. While Sight is used to create the atmosphere (in my words “magic”) of chemistry.
I can’t ignore the presence of Dating Apps and how this philosophy binds with the apps. Well, for men I would reckon that if their pictures could captured the masculinity, playfulness, passion through their eyes, then it would augur very well for them.