Just few weeks back, early in the afternoon, I was taking a stroll behind my house. The lane I was walking in was enveloped with trees on both sides. Afternoon sun was bright as it could be in Mumbai. Sunlight was partially held back by upper body of the trees, while some light managing to pierce to lower part of trees and resting on leaves.
It was a peculiar sight. As I was walking along, witnessing the effect sunlight had on green texture of leaves, I got lost in those moments.
As they say I was in “The present moment”. Until I stamped on dog shit.
Then all my spiritual presence vanished, and my head(mind) came into action.
In those moments of being annoyed and irritated after stamping on dog shit, my mind shot back at me, “Getting out of your head does not necessarily result in positive outcomes”. True that..
So, first allow me to suggest that being in your head is not such a bad thing. In fact its necessary. Even when you are interacting with girls.
As they say, indulge in everything, but in moderation. And in retrospect, the same holds true for being in head.
We are in our head *intensely* the moment we step outside to meet girls. It dominates tone and tenor of everything we do.
The intensity is so much, that we fail to register the moving social parts at the time.
For instance, we approach a woman who is clearly engrossed or headed strongly towards her destination, because in our head, we must approach. Or worse, we continue to talk to her, invading her space, because our head is intensely involved in making this happen, even though she is obviously looking for an exit.
Being in your head, intensely, in social settings brings heavy energy in the air. And being heavy is a bad, bad energy for all the parties.
And we all know this invisible obstacle, in our quest for smooth and light encounters with women.
So what do we do? go digital hunting to find the treasure solution to resolve the issue the of being in our head too much. I went through the same rite of passage.
And it didn’t really help. I mean, the information out there to resolve this has a fundamental flaw.
Which is, using your head to get out your head. Yes, to me, most if not all suggestions out there, somehow are pointing to us in that direction.
Yes, meditation is also another common advise to practice. I am unsure about effectiveness of it, once a man is in the land of women.
However, there is another way out or rather a way in. Something that draws you, automatically leading to suspension of your mind at the moment.
What is it that stop you in your tracks? What is it that slows you down? Why do we insist on a window seat in a aircraft?
You guessed it right, it’s beauty.
An encounter with beauty has always slowed our incessant running mind or even pauses it.
It really takes us out of our head.
Beauty draw us in to the point, that we desire to experience it. For instance, on seeing a picturesque landscape, we yearn to go there.
Most of you may be surprise to know that, beauty is a major subject in the world of philosophy. Numerous books, dating back to centuries have been written on just the subject of beauty and why it matters.
Well, it’s easy to agree on connection between beauty of sunset and getting out of your head in general. But why am I bringing that connection in subject of getting out of your head with women?
Because, however complex it may seem, beauty has been synonymous with female shape and form throughout the history. Art museums are adorned with nudes of women even today. How often have you found nude of a man in history of art? Exceptionally few, barring in Greek culture.
Beauty of human female form has been subject of poets, artists, directors, since time immemorial.
Ask yourself, why men heads turn naturally at the sight of a woman passing by?
If we go by the ancient history and examine our natural behaviour, it’s hard to argue against the synonymity between beauty and women.
Yes, I know, my arguments maybe little over the top in these times when you see so many women misalign in their shape and form, plus vindictive and deceitful actions of some women and so much more tilts my perspective unfavourably.
This makes the subject of beauty of women makes it a complex phenomena. It is easy to comprehend the beauty of a landscape, but difficult to imagine beauty of women in general.
First point, I would put forth as a clarification, not all women carry a quality that can captivate a man’s heart and make him pause, take him out of his head. In fact, very few will.
But that does not absolves us men, for the loss of aesthetics sense, that draws us and captivate us momentarily at least.
I am quite convinced that most men, I come in contact with, are unable to see women with eyes of aesthetic appreciation.
Yes, some women may not have that aesthetic appeal, fair enough.
(Aesthetic appeal of a woman is not limited to her physicality, but also includes the way she carries herself. And grace and feminine energy is a big component of that).
Only an eyes of great aesthetic appreciator can bring out the beauty of an ordinary looking girl.
A classic example of a man with eyes of aesthetic appreciation is Vermeer, the Dutch artist. He is known specifically for the painting, “Girl with a pearl earning”. It is a simple portrait of a girl looking sideways, yet it captured the imagination of the world. (The picture of the painting is added up).
Not to forget, Zan Perrion (legendary seducer) famous quote, “Beauty needs a witness”.
Men have lost the art of witnessing, even though we stare at women.
Looking at women (especially attractive and polish) fills our chest with heavy air because of multiple thoughts running in our mind. Instead, our bodies should be packed with delight naturally, as the case with anything we see that pleases our eyes.
Delight is what brings lightness, mischief, joy to our soul.
Clearly something is lost, or our natural gift of making a woman feel desirable has been clogged.
And for those guys, who are filled with sceptic questions while reading this; questions like “How does this help me to approach or talk better with girls?”, take it from me, once you have trained yourself enough to see beauty in women, having a sense of aesthetic recognition, you will be delighted to the point, where your simple openers like, what’s your name will have a magical effect.
Delight will bring grace and passion to your approach. The interaction, even though will seem banal in content, will carry an ephemeral mischief.
“Lets go somewhere else”, a necessary transition will be filled with exuberance from both ends. Silences will be sweet and not awkward.
Hence, I urge all believers, to take a leap of Faith, and go on developing a sense of aesthetic appreciation.
Let me warn you though, that requires discipline, dedication, and most importantly a leap of faith in existence of beauty in women.